When I'm at work, I feel anxious. Ready to leave. My life exists outside of my job. I sometimes don't even feel connected to it. I think about how much fun I can have...as soon as I drive away.

Last Saturday evening, John and I went to a neat restaurant in Glendale called Damon's. It's a Polynesian, tiki, fake-palm-tree decorated steak house. We met some of my coworkers from my old job. It was a sort of a strange night. They were all so funny and great to be around and I had a fantastic time. We exchanged old "war stories" about how bad the job got toward the end--two of them were laid off on Christmas Eve.

And yet... I left feeling depressed. I guess, in part, because I don't work with them anymore. And, I think, because I know there was something about that job that was so much better than the one I have now. Of course, if I went back now it would be horrible. None of those people work there anymore, after all.

I was kind of a mess on Sunday. It's funny how I can be so full of ambition and ideas and have huge projects going all the time, but at the same time feel like I'm never productive. I'm a paradox.

On Monday, we had reservations to go to theLargo again. We were supposed to go with Anna this time, but she got a terrible sinus infection over the weekend and by Monday was skipping work to hang out at home with a kleenex box. So, John and I went alone. Oh, yes, we saw the amazing Flight of the Conchords!

If that name means nothing to you, I suggest you make them your summer project. Get to know Bret and Jemaine.

They were unbelievable. So funny my face actually hurt. I can't describe it. If I mentioned, for example, that at one point Jemaine was wearing a viking hat (I don't know the story, but it's always on top of the Largo piano) and shaking a banana, they might sound a little over the top. They might sound like prop comics. They aren't. They're brilliant. They sang songs we'd never heard before.

A couple of weeks ago, I watched a episode of the Golden Girls, it may have even been the last episode, and Dorothy quotes Freud to her ex-husband Stan, saying "Our beds are crowded." She was getting remarried and acknowledging the fact that the ghosts of her and her new husband's old marriages and past relationships would always be with them. Yes, I just used the Golden Girls to quote Freud, yes, I did it, don't judge me! By that token, our table at the FotheC show was very crowded (and not just because Anna's absence meant sharing a table with two total strangers).

Our lives in general are watermarked by the friends who aren't here. The friends we moved away from. On Monday, I felt guilty because Anna was sick and really disappointed. But that was nothing on knowing how much Jim would've loved being there.

Our table was very crowded.

Labels: disney., friends., music., work.

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