I just watched Garden State for the first time since I saw it in the theater back in October, I think. We rented it last night, along with Ray, which was way sadder than I ever would have imagined. Anyway, it was strange watching Garden State again now...after so much is different in my life now.

We first saw it in Alhambra, which felt like the middle of nowhere...because it sort of is. And we got there really early, ended up eating at the Denny's down the street before hand. John and I were arguing about jobs and not having them. And about whether or not we were even suppose to be in California. And then we saw this movie that defines family as "a group of people that all miss the imaginary place," that imaginary place being the elusive definition of "home."

Things not being so desolate now, I watched it again, right after a rather disappointing work week. Disappointing because I'm a snob and feel self-conscious when I hand ex-employees, who've just been accepted to impressive East Coast schools, their change.

When I read this article in the Times on Sunday, the two things seemed related. I don't really know why exactly. The article really annoyed me though. Mainly because I got the feeling that Charlotte Allen is not only not in the position to judge, but that she doesn't realize how much she contradicts herself.

For example:

Allen mentions Deborah Tannen and that she writes about "how the sexes are socialized to communicate differently" in an article that basically says women, of late, are only good at being privately intellectual.

From Tannen's book You Just Don't Understand, discussing a sample couple:

"Returning to Rebecca and Stuart, we saw that when they are home alone, Rebecca's thoughts find their way into words effortlessly, whereas Stuart finds he can't come up with anything to say. The reverse happens when they are in other situations. For example, at a meeting of the neighborhood council or the parents' association at their children's school, it is Stuart who stands up and speaks. In that situation, it is Rebecca who is silent, her tongue tied by an acute awareness of all the negative reactions people could have to what she might say, all the mistakes she might make in trying to express her ideas." (page 87) In other words, women are chatty at home, men are confident in public.

Now, is it just me, or is there something missing in Charlotte Allen's assessment of female intellectuals? Or should she simply not have made reference to Tannen, whose book holds such a persuasive argument Allen herself has chosen to ignore?

And then I think about myself. And in what direction, if there is one, that I'm heading. And I wonder, when does the need for progression slow to a halt?

The truth isn't that I'm some lost child, searching for the way back. I'm just looking for the way out.

Labels: movies., work.

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