Have you ever watched a movie that everyone else in the world loved, but that left you feeling like you'd been cheated out of the three dollars it took to rent it? If so, did it make you feel angry? confused? disappointed? or like an elitist meanie?

Here's the truth: I hated, with an unreasonable passion, Big Fish.

It was horrible. It was so bad, I want to scream.

I've just screamed.

Now, why was it bad? It was so boring, we watched in three goes. The main characters were grossly underdeveloped. They were, essentially, cardboard cutouts with lines. If you want to see a good movie that came out this year about tall tales and dealing with your crazy relatives, watch Secondhand Lions.

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